Jillyn

public notice of moving

2005-05-05T17:52:34Z

i moved.

belzec belzec belzec belzec belzec belzec belzec belzec belzec belzec belzec belzec belzec belzec belzec belzec belzec belzec belzec belzec belzec belzec belzec belzec belzec belzec belzec belzec belzec belzec belzec belzec belzec

♥

flagellation @ 2005-04-09T15:20:00

2005-04-09T19:22:13Z

"I wonder if they have gay hats and crabdonkies, on which they gallop across the vast, stretchmarked expanse of his stomach into the flesh of an unsuspecting skank trying to get pleasure out of his ridiculously small penis.." -- HOLLIE, on Geo having CRABS.

CRABCON is hosted in Ven's pants.
And EL CRABFESTO is celebrated in Geo's pants.

:D

you can have anything you want, but you better not take it from me

2005-04-04T13:14:48Z

i decided to try the "in bed" thing.

1. nine inch nails - the last inch in bed
2. slipknot - i am hated in bed
3. no doubt - ex-girlfriend in bed
4. nine inch nails - thats what i get in bed
5. nine inch nails - hurt in bed
6. nine inch nails - gave up in bed
7. queen - get down, make love in bed
8. trent reznor & david bowie - i'm afraid of americans in bed
9. nightwish - the phantom of the opera in bed
10. nickleback - feeling way too damn good in bed
11. my chemical romance - vampires will never hurt you in bed
12. mushroomhead - before i die in bed
13. muse - eternally missed in bed
14. motley crue - if i die tomorrow in bed
15. motley crue - without you in bed
16. metallica - nothing else matters in bed
17. mindless self indulgence - hail satan in bed
18. mest - until i met you in bed
19. melissa ethridge - i'm the only one in bed
20. meat loaf - i would do anything for love in bed
21. marilyn manson - the speed of pain in bed
22. marilyn manson - the beautiful people in bed
23. marilyn manson - antichrist superstar in bed
24. marilyn manson - my monkey in bed
25. marilyn manson - the dopeshow in bed
26. marilyn manson - i put a spell on you in bed
27. mae - giving it away in bed
28. madonna - like a prayer in bed
29. madonna - frozen in bed
30. madonna - die another day in bed
31. madonna - crazy for you in bed
32. madonna - burning up in bed
33. madonna - like a virgin in bed
34. linkin park - with you in bed
35. linkin park - pushing me away in bed36. linkin park - my december in bed
37. linkin park - numb in bed
38. linkin park - don't stay in bed
39. linkin park - crawling in bed
40. linkin park - faint in bed
41. leann rhimes - i need you in bed
42. godsmack - i fucking hate you in bed
43. la bouche - sweet dreams in bed
44. la bouche - be my lover in bed
45. killswitch engage - just barely breathing in bed
46. kidrock - only god knows why in bed
47. ddr songs - i like to move it in bed
48. berlin - take my breath away in bed
49. saliva - i want you in bed
50. hootie and the blowfish - only wanna be with you in bed
51. HIM - rebel yell in bed
52. HIM - i love you in bed
53. guns n roses - don't cry in bed
54. guns n roses - welcome to the jungle in bed
55. guns n roses - you're crazy in bed
56. guns n roses - you ain't the first in bed
57. guns n roses - since i don't have you in bed
58. guns n roses - so fine in bed
59. led zeppelin - i've got a girl in bed
60. led zeppelin - lets have a party in bed
61. led zeppelin - moby dick in bed
62. led zeppelin - since i've been loving you in bed
63. led zeppelin - you shook me in bed
64. def leppard - billy's got a gun in bed
65. the pussycat dolls - we went as far as we felt like going in bed
66. def leppard - heaven is in bed
67. def leppard - i wanna touch you in bed
68. def leppard - have you ever needed someone so bad in bed
69. def leppard - girl like you in bed

drama!

2005-04-04T11:52:50Z

I am totally going to ban hammond from commenting in my LJ for what he said about moonfang and astralsanct!!!!

I am so going to kick dark_winter out of the house. He got totally drunk yesterday and barfed all over eig!

I feel like I'm so distressed! Saturday at work I got in a huge fight with mcpoodle.

Oh yeah. ikariel said he wanted to play Grand Theft Auto but canadian_bitch wanted to do something else :-(.

What sucks is that someone at work found out I was into fursuiting and I think that's why I got fired :-(.

And also Why does sporkness keep posting images in his journal?! I keep telling him I'm on a modem! I'm going to unfriend him to teach him a lesson!!!!!!!!!!

What sucks is that sketchedpocky_ told me that sporkness told crecenttears and eig that he saw me backstabbing matterz. What a crock! If I get my hands on him he'll regret it! Originally I didn't know why matterz went all psycho over me.

For the sake of random information kitari__ having a little too much fun.

-- Haha. That random drama generator was too cool NOT to mess with.

- I honestly can say that I've never seen Hammeh bash anyone, haha. So, we all know that would never happen.
- I somehow COULD see Zack getting drunk and barfing on Erin. I don't know why. I think it's the randomness of it all and the mental image of her reaction.
- Martin, Cait, and I .. playing Grand Theft Auto? OHGODNO.
- Me? FURSUITING? They're right. I have a secret life in which I run around yiffing people in my "YIFFY YVONNA" racoon fursuit.
- Haha, Scott DOES post lots of pictures in his journal. But I have no problem loading them.
- Three words: What the fuck?
- Having a little too much fun on the SCHOOL BUS.

.. gorgeous.

2005-04-02T21:51:11Z

this wolf is too gorgeous not to share with EVERYONE on my friends list and readers of my journal.

i wish i could kidnap him from his facility. he'd be one spoiled wolf.

flagellation @ 2005-04-02T07:20:00

2005-04-02T13:50:43Z

Your Love Style is Agape

You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner.

Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare.

You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie.

Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you.

For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love.

What's Your Love Style?

JILLIAN
J	is for	Juicy
I	is for	Irresistible
L	is for	Lovable
L	is for	Logical
I	is for	Irresistible
A	is for	Alluring
N	is for	Nervy

What Does Your Name Mean?

Your Seduction Style: The Charmer

You're a master at intimate conversation and verbal enticement.
You seduce with words, by getting people to open up to you.
By establishing this deep connection quickly, people feel under your power.
And then you've got them exactly where you want them!

What Is Your Seduction Style?

You Are a Rottweiler Puppy

Powerful, smart, and protective.
You're eager to growl at anyone you hate - but you're a big sweetheart inside.

What Breed of Puppy Are You?

<333

2005-04-01T16:05:02Z

I stayed on the phone ALL night with .. STEVE. It was really fucking awesome, okay.

Alli says that this could be a turn around for us .. finally.
I think she's right. I'm in love.

wow.

2005-04-01T02:52:45Z

AJ sent me this song.. Man, It REALLY hits close to home.
In other news: I've offically gone numb.

This place rings with echoes of
Lives once lived but now are lost
Time spent wondering about tomorrow
I don’t care if we lose it all tonight
Up in flames, burning bright
Warming the air of the world

"I don’t love you anymore" is all I remember you telling me
Never have I felt so cold
I have no more blood to bleed
As my heart has been draining into the sea

Since I’ve taken your footsteps
Getting me closer to what is left
Of the dreams of what I once claimed to know

Within my bones this resonates
Boiling blood will circulate
Could you tell me again what you did this for?

"I don’t love you anymore" is all I remember you telling me
Never have I felt so cold
I have no more blood to bleed
As my heart has been draining into the sea

Still I wait
With a hope inside of me (inside of me)
So still (so still) I wait (I wait)
Until again we meet
Until again we meet

Within my bones this resonates
Boiling blood will circulate
Could you tell me again what you did this for?

"I don’t love you anymore" is all I remember you telling me
Never have I felt so cold
I have no more blood to bleed
As my heart has been draining into the sea

Still I wait
With a hope (so still) inside of me (I wait)
So still (a hope) I wait (inside of me)

I hope it was worth it, Geo.

flagellation @ 2005-03-30T13:18:00

2005-03-30T18:20:48Z

here's a fun little lj game.

comment, and i'll reply with at least three songs that remind me of you.

DO IT, DAMNIT.

flagellation @ 2005-03-25T10:45:00

2005-03-25T15:47:54Z

so .. i met this guy, his name is steve.

flagellation @ 2005-02-18T11:28:00

2005-02-18T16:28:44Z

geo broke up with me again on wednesday. thursday i went to disney with mytch and tony and passed out. and today i have to go to the hospital for more testing.

ohmygod

2005-02-14T17:29:22Z

i'm sure all/most of you expected a very angsty lj entry from me this fine valentines day. -- sorry to disappoint you, but, you're not getting one. you're going to get one squeal-packed giggle session in text. i'm sure you can tell from the looks of this entry so far that geo and i are back together. geovy and i have gotten back together after eight hectic months of being apart. i'm so happy, you guys have no idea. i first asked him to be my valentine when we first got on the phone, and then we started asking eachother questions and i thought he wasn't going to ask me out until he said "i guess my last question is .. will you be mine?" all i could say is "ARE YOU SERIOUS?" and he confirmed that he was .. i said yes and cried. we had to hang up about fifteen minutes later at 12:30, so that made me sad. but, i stayed up until 6:30 thinking about how i just got back with geo. i'll admit, i cried four hours of the six because i was just so damn happy. the fact that he told me he still was in love with me choked me up the most. god, i missed him so much. i can't wait to be with him in march. i know a lot of you say he'll only hurt me again, but i know he won't. i know he loves me. a lot of people can see that when they talk to him. just talking to him has changed a lot of my friends' views on him, aswell as my own sister's. jesus christ, i really can't believe this. i've got my best friend back and it seems like my life has just fallen back into place. but it also made me quite angry that in the height of all my happiness a lot of people were there to say, "oh, he'll just cheat on you." - what the fuck is your problem? you claim you're my friends but you never let the oppertunity pass to make me feel like shit about geo. i severely dislike the fact that you're all wasting your time telling me he's only going to hurt me again, when all i really need is a little support in this. like cait, krissy, amber, and ruby. i know they're not the only ones that support me in whatever i do, but this is just an example. if you're sick of seeing me miserable, you should be happy that i'm extremely happy right now. if geo and i can make it through all the stuff we've been through already .. we can make it through anything life has to throw our way.

i love you geovanny

take me back into the arms i love ..

2005-02-09T20:33:02Z

wow. just when i began to think all would be happy after he said he'd give me that chance. i noticed i was wrong. there are so many questions that need to be answered before i can put my full trust in him again. after talking to his sister, i found out the truth about a lot of things the hard way and a lot of questions arose. i noticed a lot of them consist of "why did you.." which is pretty sad on my part. but this is my fault, so, yeah.

weeee

2005-02-07T23:14:38Z

omfg. i can't believe i didn't write about this sooner, which i could've sworn i did.

he's giving us a chance to work out.

you guys have no idea how thrilled i am. i even talked to my mom about me moving to texas, and she said she'd think about it. but she also came up with the idea of after he gets out of highschool, he comes to live with us for a year or so until she'll let me move out of state. so i'm really happy. i've shamelessly been blasting all our songs and all songs that make me think of him .. all day. my teachers got sort of pissed, especially when i started singing. ms. mongiovi was the only one who complained a lot, so i explained myself to her .. which she said was "cute". so i was all, "okay, cool."

now where's the phone? i'm going to call geovy, k? <3

we'd only just begun ..

2005-02-03T22:59:56Z

I'll start with the good news, Geo's going to come see me over his spring break. So that makes me happier than any of you can comprehend .. But, the bad news is ..

Despite the immense happiness I get from the fact that I get to see him, I've been sitting here for an hour crying, shaking, and being extremely nauseous.

Geookay (4:41:47 PM): Whether I want to love you or not. Is beside the point. I have to admit I can't love anyone like I once loved you. And I liked it. So who knows.

"like I once loved you.": .. Once is the key word there. He doesn't love me anymore. I thought there was still a chance he had love for me .. Until he said that. I feel so hopeless. He really doesn't love me. I don't know what to do besides just cry, rant, and hope this fucking Klonopin knocks me out soon. My head hurts so bad, but my chest feels like it's freezing. How could the love like he said he had .. die? I love him so much, still more and more each day .. I can't let go. I've tried SO hard. But no one is like him. We swore our hearts would always belong to one another. We swore we'd never abandon eachother. We made plans for the future .. Hell, we even thought about what we'd name our children. We promised we'd always be together ..

my angel, have i lost my mind?

2005-02-03T18:54:45Z

i can't hold in my moping any longer, i'm sorry. like kristin said, "its your angstjournal." - i'm sorry everyone. but i need my baby back. i love him so much, you guys just don't seem to understand that. theres a part of me he took when he left. he just completely takes my breath away .. if he ever died, i'd be a complete lost cause. i don't even want to think of the pain that would bring. i'm going to go see him.

i'm not afraid of dying
but i am afraid of losing you

blah..

2005-02-01T05:10:09Z

goddamnit.

flagellation @ 2005-01-29T19:02:00

2005-01-30T00:07:47Z

okay. talked to geo. i'm going to take a gamble in march. a pretty risky gamble, i would say. i'm sure you're all sighing and screaming "WHY" at the computer screen .. but this is the only way.

maybe i was wrong afterall.

2005-01-29T14:43:35Z

maybe i was wrong about not being able to love someone as much as i loved geo. because i'm falling pretty damn hard for chris. he's so sweet to me.. i'm still on the phone with him. my mom was talking to him, tom, and i on the phone. she likes them both. so it's all good. <3

flagellation @ 2005-01-29T07:15:00

2005-01-29T12:16:36Z

keyboard dance.

flagellation @ 2005-01-29T06:32:00

2005-01-29T11:33:27Z

So now she's your soulmate? Haha.. Someone, please. PUT ME OUT OF MY FUCKING MISERY.

we'd only just begun ..

2005-01-28T22:14:16Z

i honestly never thought a spice girls song would make me cry .. until i loaded all my files out of my limewire folder and put them in winamp, put the playlist on shuffle- and the song "viva forever" by the spice girls came on. now, before you go, "OMFG GET OVER IT." - i am over it, it's just the memories that this song kicked up made me cry. yeah, the memories make me miss him, they make me cry, but, i'm moving on. i'm forcing myself to. i just like to remember what it felt like sometimes, you know? like remembering how his voice sounded when he told me he loved me, and how it always made my heart melt away. how i could tell him anything and everything and he wouldn't love me any less.. it's funny how the most unlikely of couples can have the most phenomenal romances. to know that i'll never get to stare into his eyes, run my fingers through his hair, feel his arms around me, or ever press my lips against his .. just breaks my heart. every memory of ours is a blessing to me, it truly was a miracle that i had the chance to have someone like him in my life. it also tugs at my heartstrings to know, that on the day my new life begins - my wedding day; .. he won't be at the end of that aisle waiting for me like we always planned. although, the guy i fall in love with will be.. it won't stop me from wishing that he was geo. or when my sickness finally catches up with me and my life starts coming to an end and i'm on my death bed.. it won't be the person i love more than anything at my side, holding my hand and telling me he loves me. geo won't be the last person i see, the last person i talk to.. but god knows, he'll be the last thing i ever think about. why do i always end up with something less. the only thing i couldn't ask for a better version of is my mom and my friends. i'll always miss geo, i'll always care, i'll always love him, i'll always wish he was here. our hearts were intertwined in this harmonic heavenly romance that mostly everyone i knew was awe-stricken over. i'll always keep his picture with me, and what it says on the back will always make me cry. "i love you, baby." - that statement conveyed so much emotion everytime he said it to me. there is nothing i wouldn't do for just one more day with him. i'll never forget him, the love we had, or the memories we shared. he's always in my dreams, heart, and thoughts. i can listen to our song now without going insane, i just cry. you'll always be my everything. but, meh, i know this sounds like moping. but i just needed to get it out. blah, i wish he still wanted to see me.

heaven must've been jealous, because it took my angel away.

Do you still remember, how we used to be
Feeling together, believe in whatever
My love had said to me
Both of us were dreamers
Young love in the sun
Felt like my Saviour, my spirit I gave you
We'd only just begun

Hasta Mañana, Always be mine

Viva forever, I'll be waiting
Everlasting, like the sun
Live Forever, for the moment
Ever searching for the one

Yes I still remember, every whispered word
The touch of your skin, giving life from within
Like a love song that I'd heard
Slipping through your fingers, like the sands of time
Promises made, every memory saved
Has reflections in my mind

Hasta Mañana, Always be mine

Viva forever, I'll be waiting
Everlasting, like the sun
Live Forever, for the moment
Ever searching for the one

But we're alone now, was it just a dream
Feelings untold, they will never be sold
And the secret's safe with me

Hasta Mañana, Always be mine

Viva forever, I'll be waiting
Everlasting, like the sun
Live Forever, for the moment
Ever searching for the one

flagellation @ 2005-01-27T10:08:00

2005-01-27T15:28:00Z

dotdotdot

QUASAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

2005-01-25T21:48:08Z

cait and i have discovered the modern quasimodo .. in it's natural habitat! which just so happens to be POOLSIDE as it drinks .. ORANGE JUICE. not a belltower as it serenades a gypsy. modern day hunchbacks are just so goddamn lanky! they have no boobs and hardly have an ass. and also in my observations, i noted that they seem to think they're part of the p0nkgawth subculture and listen to the postal service! i was truly amazed by this observation and amused to a great extent.

it's funny how I found myself in love with you

2005-01-25T16:09:43Z

so yeah. last night was awesome. i stayed on the phone for seven hours with geo's friend- chris. it was found that we both like eachother, so yay for me. and he also serenaded me with "i want you to want me" - it was one of the cutest things ever. god, i've only had like three hours sleep, but, i don't care. i'm happy for once.